Wednesday, 24 August 2016

HOPE, BUT NEVER EXPECT

Expectation
/ɛkspɛkˈteɪʃ(ə)n/
noun

a strong belief that something will happen or be the case.


"Expectations lead to disappointment"- as cliché as it sounds, it is true.
Expectations kill happiness, relationships and most importantly yourself. When you expect something to happen or someone to act a certain way, you are actually trying to control a situation or person that is in fact beyond your control. You can't control situations, you can't control anyone, all you can control is you, yourself and how you react under these circumstances and to other people's actions. When you have expectations, you have preconceived ideas on how things should be that you are attached to. Don't. 

I overlooked that. I had so much expectations on myself, other people and situations to the extent where negative feelings such as sadness, anger, disappointment and fear of failure were produced in a way that I did not know what to do. Frankly, I did not know "expectation" could lead to bad outcomes that could potentially ruin my own happiness & relationships with others.

I was not being myself last night. I was unhappy, frustrated and angry. Then I took a step back, realised I was attempting to control a situation and expected someone to treat me the same way I would treat them. Unfortunately, it did not happen. That was why I was disappointed- and that became problematic since the fault laid within me for putting such expectations.

I literally went to google "how to not have expectations", trying to change the way I perceived things. I came to a conclusion that living in the present and becoming aware of your own thoughts and actions are key to detach yourself from expectations. Accept reality for it is, and people as they are.
(This & other websites helped me)

"There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations".

In life, we need to acknowledge the fact that humans are capable of a lot of things. Just because you think you know someone, that doesn't mean they wouldn't turn around and do something that would hurt your feelings. Know that there is a possibility in your mind forever. Seasons change, people change. If it happens, accept it, suck it up & move on. Everything will eventually be okay.

I believe having low or no expectations is one of the most powerful things. If you let go of anything you expect in life, everything that happens will be a surprise to you- good or bad. You might find something or meet someone that you've never expected. Isn't that a fun way to live?

Note to self: Have no expectations. Live in the moment. Allow life to flow through you.

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